There’s A Crack In A Star On Hollywood Boulevard! Quick Call Your Publicist!

Britney Spears

Once upon a time a publicist would warn their female clients not to be photographed exiting a car if they weren’t wearing underwear…now they warn them not to be photographed like that unless they shave! We’re living in an era where publicists rule and manipulate our perceptions…usually without us ever knowing it.

Look what happened when Tom Cruise terminated his long time public relations Ace, Pat Kingsley and hired his sister. The wall that had carefully been created around him quickly started to erode, and we saw Tom for the first time in all of his Scientological glory!

Now we’re in the penalty phase, in the trial by media, of Mel Gibson. Next week his new film “Apocalypto” opens. The film’s dialogue is spoken solely in Yucatec Maya. Shit…that’s a hard enough sell to begin with, but now everyone who sees it is gonna’ be waiting for a little anti-semitism! It’s hard to forget, however, that it was Mel who nailed himself to the cross. Did the Barbara Walters interview help? Perhaps an offer of a public circumcision will make a difference at the box office? Mel…Quick call your publicist!

Now I have to hand it to Michael Richards for hiring publicist Howard Rubenstein, who has deep ties in the black community, to get him off the hook for using the “N” word against hecklers. Now the ball has been picked up by Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson, who have forgiven Richards and consider his actions just a symptom of a larger social sickness in America. Last week the three unlikely compadres and African- American Congresswoman Maxine Waters called for the word Nigger never to be used again by rappers, filmakers and comedians!

That’s obviously a great idea, pioneered in the 60s by comedian Lenny Bruce in a routine that trivialized the word. A similar concept was embraced and promoted in the 70s by Richard Pryor after a trip to Africa, where he experienced Black pride for the first time. Wait a second…Michael Richards, suddenly is no longer on the hot seat and has become somewhat of a hero! Has he repented enough, or should his skin be chemically darkened then made to live in a Harlem project for a year as penance for his rant? What about the publicist, Howard Rubenstein, who came up with this brilliant scheme? I think he should go to Washington and work for the lesser of the two assholes who’ll be running for President. If his man (or woman) wins, we can be assured Rubenstein will be made chief of staff and paint pretty pictures for us, until we all figure out what’s going on!

Copyright by 2007  by Artie Wayne
EXCLUSIVE! THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU CAN SEE LINDSAY LOHAN AND PARIS HILTON ON TOP OF BRITNEY SPEARS! http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/

BALD BRITNEY ARRESTED AT LAX AIRPORT! COMPLETE STORY! http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/02/19/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-excusive-bald-britney-arrested-at-airport/ 

If you like to hear the song “There’s A Crack In A Star On Hollywood Boulevard”  http://artiewayne.com/crack.html

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