If It’s On The Internet, It’s Gotta Be True! First Photo! Sanjaya Shaves His Head!
April 28, 2007
Scientists have discovered A new planet that may be duplicate of Earth, able to sustain and nurture life as we know it! Until an official name is chosen, they’re calling it “Niptune”
After getting the boot on “Dancing With The Stars”, Heather Mills put the boot on and wore it home to a consolation prize of 60 million dollars from her divorce settlement with soon-to-be-ex Paul McCartney!
Former Beverly Hills madame Heidi Fleiss, has dropped out after failing to make the grade at the Socrates School of Philosophy, which only goes to prove “You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think!”
The real reason Rosie O’Donnell, is leaving “The View”, is that she discovered Barbara Walters has been secretly lacing her stash of Krispy Kreme donuts with Mescaline to keep her behavior erratic and the ratings high!
On a promotional tour in Jaipur, India, Richard Gere’s lips were taken into custody after he kissed Bollywood actress, Shilpa Shetty which is considered obscene if done in public!
Although Spiderman 3 isn’t in the theaters yet, the title is number one in bootleg sales! People who have bought it, however, have been disappointed to find that it’s only a clip of a Mexican midget eating 3 Tarantulas.
Phil Spector sat quietly, as the last juror in his murder trial was sworn in. Then he jumped up unexpectedly and led the court in a rousing version of, “Be My Baby”!
Millions of fans wept, as Sanjaya , from”America Idol ” shaved his head to play the brother of a bald Halle Berry, in the new film “Nappily Ever After”
Alanis Morrisette is back with one of the best video parodies on the internet. It’s a cover version of the Black Eyed Peas ‘Lady Lumps”! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZw-8RSyvh8
Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne
Thanks to Stephen Craig Aristei, Dorothy Parker and Phil X. Milstein for their submissions and to the late Harvey Miller, who helps me every week with this column.
A special thanks to Tracy Morgan, from NBC TV’s “30 Rock”. When Tina Fey questioned him about some dubious information he found online, he proudly replied, ” If It’s On The Internet It, It Has To Be True!”