EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! FISTFIGHTS ERUPT AT WASHINGTON ECONOMICS MEETING! BIDEN STEPS DOWN, HILLARY STEPS IN!
September 27, 2008
No one expected that Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, could pack such a punch, but she opened up a can of “Whoop Ass” on the elite members of congress, when Democrat Barney Frank’s plan to solve our economic crisis was met with opposition. Although she said her actions were out of concern for the American people, insiders speculate that she’s trying to wrap things up by Sunday, so she won’t lose her deposit on a castle she plans to rent when congress adjourns.
Now that Alaska is getting so much attention these days, singer/songwriter Jewel Kilcher, is cashing in on her heritage. Not only was she raised in Homer, Alaska, but her grandfather Yule Kilcher, was a state senator, who helped draft the constitution when the territory became a state in 1959. Just in time for the 50th anniversary of this historic event, Jewel has released, a new CD “Cold Rush”, and a new single, “Dance The Baked Alaska”
FOX News’, Bill O’Reilly who is fair and balanced, carries a picture of both Jewel and Sarah Palin in his wallet. Does that make him a pinhead or a patriot?
When George W. Bush and John McCain staged a fist fight on the White House Lawn to show the press how much the candidate has distanced himself from the president, nobody told VP nominee, Sarah Palin. When she saw the skirmish, Palin who happened to be walking her dog, unleashed Yukon King her Alaskan Huskie companion, who came between the two men. It was little Barney Bush’s terrier, however, who held eveyone at bay until the Secret Service arrived, proving who the “top dog” is…at least for the next four months!
In response to those who criticized his inability to use the computer, John McCain, at the end of his latest ad says, “I approve this message”, then types with one finger, on his word processor ”F@#k You!”, and proudly clicks send.
Governer Arnold Schwartzenegger, is suing Rolls Royce, the luxury automobile maker, for the unauthorized use of his likeness on their new hood ornament.
Although the Presidential Debate went on as planned, very few new issues were discussed, and both candidates were in agreement that something must be done immediately about stabilizing the economy. When asked by the moderator, can you tell us anything specific about what you would do to solve our problems.
McCain, smiled and unveiled a plan that not only would ease our economic crisis, but solve our immigation problem as well. He suggested that illegal immigrants be given amnesty, if they marry a single mother, and stay off welfare for a year! Then he showed a video, on how even the smallest American can help with what he calls the”Tap For Food program”, he ended up showing a “Mobile Home”, he wants to give to every homeless person. (click on box to activate)
As the audience started to rush the stage, Obama leaped to his feet, and said, “People, people…I’ve been telling you, “Grandpa” is out of touch! Let me tell you how I’m going to solve your problems”. The audience grumbled, but sat back down as Obama went into a eloquent, vague, but stirring speech about something or another. Then he tried to get the skeptical crowd to stand up and cheer for his running mate, Joe Biden’s new slogan, “It’s Patriotic to pay more taxes!”
At this point, the crowd jumped to it’s feet and booed, as a senior citizen in the first row, threw his walker at him. Then a little grey haired lady, shook her fist and rattled off curses at McCain in spanish. Before it escalated into a full-fledged riot, the secret service whisked off both candidates to their waiting limosines, where they each started to plan their strategy for the next time they meet.
EXTRA! BREAKING NEWS!… After the Presidential debate, Barack Obama, made a surprise announcement, that due to the many embarrassing gaffes that Joe Biden made on the campaign trail, he agreed to step down from the race as the democratic nominee for vice-president, to be replaced by Hillary Clinton. When Biden was reached for a comment he said, “What do you mean I stepped down down from the race?”
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Copyright 2008 by Artie Wayne http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/about-artie-wayne/