June 25, 2007
Bruce Willis, took no prisoners as “Live Free or Die Hard” shot straight to #1, officially becoming the biggest movie of the summer! And summer only started last week.
Although Apple’s I-Phone isn’t released until friday, A bootleg version has already made it into malls across the country. Apple warns consumers that if there isn’t a picture of an eye talking into a cell phone on the back of the device…it’s a bootleg!
After winning an undisclosed amount in a libel suit against the English tabloids, Heather Mills smiled said, “You only need one leg to kick somebody’s ass!”
It was revealed after a mix-up at the DNA lab, that Larry Birkhead is actually the father of Scary Spice’s baby, while Eddie Murphy is the father of Anna Nicole Smiths’ Dannielynn, and Knut the baby polar bear.
Websters dictionary has added the term “political correctness” to it’s hallowed pages…
“Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which believes that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end”.
Rosie O’Donnell announced this morning that she’ll be replacing Meridith Viera on the “Today”show, as well becoming the new host of “The Price Is Right”.Then she said this afternoon, that she’ll be taking over the “Tonight Show”. Finally, it was announced tonight that Rosie has been taken to Bellevue Hospital where she is being held for observation.
97 pound Nicole Ritchie told TMZ.com that she isn’t pregnant and the “baby bump” that appeared in pictures last week was only an olive she had for lunch!
EXCLUSIVE PHOTO! After being released from jail today, Paris Hilton (below left without make-up and underwear) tried to sneak into her limo unoticed. Our top photographer, Al Ketchem, was the only one of the papparazzi there to get this shocking picture that she didn’t want any one to see!
Presidential candidate Barack Obama, has dropped out of the race after being caught with Amber Lee (above Right), who sings, “I’ve Got A Crush On Obama” http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4563509419827524955&q=i%27ve+got+a+crush+on+obama&total=7&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0
Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne
Thanks to Patti Dahlstrom, Al Ketchem, Phil X. Milstein, Richard Yannotti for their contributions, and to the late Harvey Miller who helps me with this column.
December 26, 2006
Lara Banks, of Atlanta Georgia was eliminated early in the Miss America contest, not because she wasn’t pretty or smart enough, but because she was considered to have one up on everyone else in the the competition!
Darrell Hammond, of Saturday Night Live, is no longer allowed to do impersonations on the show. It seems his statute of imitations has run out!
Ousted Miss Nevada USA, Katie Rees, lost her case in the court of public opinion when Heidi Fleiss, Anna Nicole Smith, and Tonya Harding testified on her behalf!
In a recent survey, 95% of women since the 1950’s admitted to having had pre-marital sex…the other 5% lied!
“Governator” Arnold Schwartzenegger, always eager for a “Photo Op”, gladly broke his leg again as soon as the Paparazzi arrived at the scene of his skiing accident.
Next month CBS debuts the new reality show, “Armed and Famous”, in which celebrities join a real police department in Indiana and are issued badges and guns. Eric Estrada, Trish Stratus, Jack Osborne (Ozzie’s son) and LaToya Jackson’s first assignment is to hunt down Danny Bonaduce.
Bono seems to be taking his recent Knighthood seriously, and plans appear in a full suit of armor at U2’s upcoming New Years Eve concert in Dublin!
What did Justin Timberlake give Cameron Diaz for Christmas? Click in the box http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA
Copyright by Artie Wayne
For more “If It’s On The Internet…It’s Gotta’ Be True!” http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/11/05/if-you-saw-it-on-the-internetthen-you-know-its-gotta-be-true/
Even More “If You Saw It On the Internet…yada, yada, yada” http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-is-this-really-britney-spears-pussy/
To see “More” of Britney Spears…click onto http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/
To see the”Most” of Britney Spears…click onto http://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/