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17 year old charismatic, but vocally challenged, Sanjaya Malakar threatened the credibility of “American Idol”, by being one of the most popular contestants in the competition who was capable of winning. Was the voting rigged to make sure he would come in last and be booted off the show?

I’m not surprised that Sanjaya, famous for his hair, performed wearing a hat last week. It’s a favorite “Idol trick” to change the way a contestant looks drastically if they don’t want them to win. Look at how they “dorked up” Kellie Pickler, last year on the night she lost! Another favorite trick to discourage voters is to “advise” or “allow” a singer to perform a song that is a less than perfect match for them, not to mention making the vocal too loud to magnify bad notes!

“Shock Jock” Howard Stern asked his millions of listeners to vote for Sanjaya, in order to undermine “American Idol” and everything it stands for! I’m positive “Idols” creator, Simon Fuller, wouldn’t just stand by and let this happen!

I remember a few seasons ago a little girl in Hawaii, Jasmine Trias, inexplicably remained in the competition in spite of having minimal talent. It was later revealed that because of a 6 hour time difference and a fan base working a bank of power dialers, they were able to cast millions and millions of votes for their home girl!

Last week a record 38 million votes were cast on “Idol”…the week before 33 million! A suspicious increase, considering the total viewers
Are down 10% from last year!

I don’t believe Howard Stern would’ve paid a penny to employ “Power Dialers”, just to make a point. I don’t believe Sanjaya’s, “Tweenie” fan base could vote for their heartthrob any more than they did. I do believe, however, that someone who has an interest in keeping the billion dollar “American Idol” franchise intact did take some action.

Someone who knew that each one of the millions of votes cast by “Power Dialers” in Hawaii would go through, because Hawaii starts voting hours after the rest of America has stopped! Someone who knew the results of the voting on the mainland could have appropriated votes to contestants who actually scored lower than Sanjaya…that would place him at the bottom and voted off!

Who would mastermind something like this?

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

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Binky is horrified after discovering he’s only one pair of chromosomes away from being human!

The world is reeling after a cell phone video released on the internet shows a silver haired Elvis Presley, celebrating his birthday in Brazil with his balding pals, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison. Can a “Return of the Kings” tour be far behind?

Role model Paris hilton, in an exclusive interview with Entertainment Tonight, admits she’s not promiscuous and only has sex when she’s in a relationship. Later, she confides in People magazine that she had 112 “relationships” in 2006!

At his long awaited press conference today, President Bush, was outraged that the entire press corp laughed when he proposed enlisting the aid of Jedi Warriors and Storm Troopers to help end the war in Iraq. When informed by veteran reporter Helen Thomas that they all were ficticious characters from “Star Wars”, Bush smirked and said, ” Next thing you’ll try to tell me is that Spiderman isn’t real! “

Shock Jock, Howard Stern just received an 83 million dollar bonus from his bosses at Sirius radio. It’s reported that he gets $100 every time he curses or tells an off color joke.

Several technicians at NASA were fired today after it was revealed that they were using the extreme close-up lens on the Hubble telescope, which circles 380 miles above the earth, to photograph Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan exiting cars in Hollywood!

A team of Iraqi sharpshooters, rifles loaded with silver bullets as well as local villagers armed with wooden stakes, are said to be watching Saddam Hussein’s unmarked grave 24 hours a day…just in case the execution didn’t “take”.

The noxious fumes that hung over New York earlier this week was deemed to be only the fallout from the raging feud between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell.

Congress has unanimously approved the use of convicted Taliban as human missles. The terrorists, ironically, will have bombs strapped to them and dropped without parachutes over Somalia, to help wipe out their Al Qaeda comrades!

The video of the week submitted by Patti Dahlstrom should give you a smile! http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1734043

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne

 
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