February 28, 2007
Al-Kildamuddah, has become the head of Iraqi security forces. Some say, “HappyDays Are Here Again!”, while others think, “It’s Sadaam Shame!”
“Culture Warrior”Bill O’Reilly, one of the first passengers scanned by the new airport X-Ray machine, was taken into custody after they found a stick up his ass!
There was a mass Tivo malfunction during the Academy Award ceremonies. As soon as the four hour show was over, instead of stopping, Tivo replayed the event from the beginning…over and over again! Millions of people who fell asleep during the boring event…kept waking up and asking, “How many times is Martin Scorsese going to win for best director?”
After winning an Oscar for best documentary on Global Warming and saving energy, Al Gore peddled his bicycle around the corner to a parking lot where his turbo charged, stretch limo waited to take him home to his mansion!
JFK conspiiracy theorists are having a field day since new color footage has emerged of Dealy Plaza on Nov. 22, 1963. There are several frames that show the grassy knoll with a young O.J. Simpson, shoving a nine iron with a telescopic site, into a golf bag!
“Dancing With The Stars”, seems to be scraping the bottom of the Big Dipper for this years line up of b-list celebrity contestants. Heather Mills (soon to be Mrs. Ex-Paul McCartney) was the first to be disqualified after producers discovered she was a professional! It seems that Ms. Mills has been dancing around the truth for years!
A Preist, a Rabbi and a radical Muslim cleric walk into a bar, and are shot by a gay minister, for appearing in a joke too stupid to even finish!
Paris Hilton’s perfume, “Vogue On The Outside, Vague On The Inside”, has been outselling Lindsay Lohan’s “Firecrotch” by a ratio of 69 to 1.
Animal Planet’s newest show, “Animal Idol”, another “American Idol” spinoff, has become the networks biggest hit! Simon Cowell’s cat, Wesley, a judge on the show has been considered to be an even harsher critic than Cowell is.
When an American Idol contestant sucks, it’s no big deal, until pictures show up! http://poponthepop.blogspot.com/2007/02/antonella-barba-naked-pictures.html
Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne
Special thanks to Sharon Link for the picture of Wesley Cowell
Thanks to Don Williams for the expression, “It’s Sadaam shame”