If It’s On The Internet, It’s Gotta Be True! Exclusive! Paris Blows It In Court!

May 2, 2007

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In his “60 Minutes interview, ex-CIA head, George Tenent, claimed he tried to warn Bush, if he went to war, “Sunni Or later, the Shiite will hit the fan!”

After a bitter divorce and child custody battle, Alec Baldwin saved Kim Bassinger’s life last week! He ran in to her at the farmer’s market and didn’t try to kill her!

Presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton, explained to the Democratic National Committee that she couldn’t give back the $800,000 campaign contribution she took from rapper Timbaland…because she already spent it! She bought some platinum “Bling”, to wear around her neck and a diamond grill for her teeth to impress her, “Peeps in the ‘hood”

When Paris Hilton explained in court, why she parked in a handicapped spot, the judge said, “Being cockeyed doesn’t count!”

After attempting to escape for the second time, Katie Holmes has resigned herself to playing opposite her husband, Tom Cruise, in a remake of “The Collector”.

At the Miss Afghanistan beauty pageant this week, contestants will be allowed to wear bikinis for the very first time…underneath their birkas!

Willa Ford, singer and “Dancing With The Stars” temptress, will play Anna Nicole Smith. Ms. Ford insists she won’t do any nudity…unless it says so in the script!

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Here’s the most popular viral video on the web!. Will Farrell in The Landlord” http://sjl.funnyordie.com/v1/view_video.php?viewkey=3efbc24c7d2583be6925

Whoppy and Streaker have asked me to turn you onto their favorite show on Acceptable TV, “Operation Kitty Calender” which is becoming a cult favorite! http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2022281185

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

Thanks to Patti Dahlstrom and Joe Nelson for their contributions as well as to the late Harvey Miller, who helps me every week with this column.

Our friend and regular contributor, Loni Spector, will be bringing his musicians event to the east coast for the very first time! Check it out. http://www.ampshow.com/

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