IF IT’S ON THE INTERNET IT’S GOTTA’ BE TRUE! 2012

HERE’S THE FIRST PHOTO FROM THE NEW LONE RANGER MOVIE STARRING JOHNNY DEPP AS TONTO AND ARNIE HAMMER AS THE MASKED MAN. WHY IS JOHNNY DEPP IN “WHITE FACE” LOOKING SO MEAN?…’CAUSE WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN, IT’S THE MAN WITH THE TAN WHO’S ALWAYS THE FIRST TO GO!

IN OTHER MOVIE NEWS, JUSTIN BEIBER IS IN NEGOTIATIONS TO PRODUCE AND STAR IN THE GARY COLEMAN BIO-PIC, BUT ONLY IF BRUCE WILLIS PORTRAYS HIS BROTHER.

 LADY GAGA IS OUTRAGED AS HER BROADWAY MUSICAL ABOUT MOTHER TERESA IS PUT ON HOLD WHEN NUDE PHOTOS OF THE GOOD MOTHER SHOW UP ON THE INTERNET!

BACK IN 1969 THE ASTRONAUTS TOOK THE BREAKFAST DRINK ORANGE TANG TO THE MOON. NEXT YEAR AFTER NEWT GINGRICH BECOMES PRESIDENT, HE SAYS HE’LL GO BACK TO THE MOON WITH PRUNE TANG AS HIS SPONSOR. 

Paris Hilton is making good on her promise to Barbara Walters to stop “acting dumb”.  She begins a ten city tour, lecturing on “How the US can achieve an immediate and lasting peace in the Middle East”

An intern at Bethesda, Md.hospital was arrested yesterday after he tried to slip a “Do not resuscitate” bracelet on Vice-President Cheney, during a routine physical.

“THOSE DAMN RALLYS…I HOPE THIS IS GONNA’ BE THE LAST OF THE MASS-DEBATERS!”

ASTRODAMUS, THE PSYCHIC FROM THE FUTURE WHO PREDICTS THE PAST, REMINDS US THAT TODAY IS YESTERDAY TOMORROW AND HOW WONDERFUL LIFE IS IF YOU’RE NOT A TURD!

 

HERE IS THE NUMBER ONE SONG IN THE WORLD WITH 220, MILLION VIEWS….GOYTE AND  “SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW”.  I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT I HEARD IT FOR THE FIRST TIME ONLY A WEEK AGO! (THANKS TO BARRY OSLANDER)  

Copyright 2012 by Artie Wayne

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