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Britney, Brooke, Halle, and Cameron from their new film, “Bald Is Beautiful”

Britney Spears, bald on top and bald at the bottom, was mistaken for a member of the Hare Krishna at LAX airport last night. When passengers started dropping change into the coffee cup she was carrying, airport security took her into custody for panhandling. When she was released, the police apologized and allowed her to keep the $26 she had collected, providing she’d buy a hat and some panties!

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY ON TOP OF ZAC EFRON AND VANESSA HUDGENS! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/matthew-mcconaughey-on-top-of-zac-efron-and-vanessa-hudgens/

Inspired by the successful reunion of the Police, last week at the Grammys, The Archies have gotten back together, except for Jughead who is still at large after being featured on “America’s Most Wanted”.

FIRST PHOTOS! PIGS IN LIPSTICK MARCH ON WASHINGTON! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/exclusive-photos-pigs-in-lipstick-march-on-washington/

 Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, has taken several meetings with Eric Rice, one of the creators of Second Life, the most popular alternate reality site on the Internet. Rice wants a law to protect the rights of humans who visit Second Life and want to marry one of the virtual characters they design. He also wants to give them the power to delete any of the virtual children they may accidentally create!

In-And-Out, the fast food giant, has had a 22% increase in revenue in their Hollywood locations, since adding “A Stint In Rehab” to their menu.

EXTRA! EXTRA! KRISTEN BELL BLOWS! EXCLUSIVE PICTURES
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/11/12/it-was-women-and-children-firstthe-day-the-bubblegum-bubble-burst/

The CEOs of all broadcast and cable networks met secretly yesterday to figure out how they’re going to fill up airtime once the Anna Nicole Smith story plays out.

After airline passengers were left stranded on a snowbound runway for up to eleven hours, without food and water, Jet Blue vowed it would never happen again! Now, every passenger, upon boarding, is issued a roll of Lifesavers and a package of M&Ms.

This year, with African-American nominees dominating the Oscars, Martin Scorsese Nominated for directing,”The Departed”, is determined not to get snubbed by the Academy again! The Italian dirctor on “Entertainment Tonight” sporting dreadlocks and a deep salon tan said,”‘Bout time we brothers and sisters finally be getting our props!”

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The Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences, Has always kept it’s final tally of votes for each Oscar winner a well guarded secret. For the first time, the Academy has revealed how the winner is determined in the event there is a tie. It also explains why God is usually the first one thanked by the winners!

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

EXCLUSIVE! THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU CAN SEE LINDSAY LOHAN AND PARIS HILTON ON TOP OF BRITNEY SPEARS! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/

CRACK IN A STAR ON HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD…BRITNEY EXCLUSIVE!
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/ 

Because you’ve been good, now you get “NOOKIE”S TOP CHRISTMAS AND “HAUKKAH VIDEOS for FREE!” includes Adam Sandler’s “HANUKKAH SONG”, the Full Original Version of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” , JUST ADDED JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, CARRIE UNDERWOOD, TOBY KEITH, BON JOVI SINGING “THE HANUKKAH SONG!” and MUCH, MUCH MORE! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/22/nookies-top-holiday-video-picks/

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Songwriter and Producer Jeff Barry, is always someone I’ve looked up to…and not just because he’s about a foot taller than me! Before I got into the music buisness, I remember first seeing Jeff’s name on one of my favorite records, “Tell Laura I Love Her” (Raleigh/ Barry) by Ray Peterson, and paying attention to his creative output ever since.

The first time I met him was in 1650 Broadway at the office of Paul Vance (“Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”) where I was putting the finishing touches on a song I had written with with Ellie Greenwich and Danny Jordan (the Detergents), “You Should’ve Told Me”, that the Angels were about to record. I was introduced to Jeff when he came in to pick up his Fiance Ellie, for lunch.

While Danny and I sat daydreaming of songwriting superstardom collaborating with this talented lady on dozens of future hits, Jeff had plans of his own. He and Ellie, had started writing with Phil Spector and created songs that not only would become instant classics but would define the 60’s as well, including “Be My Baby”, for the Ronettes, “Do Wah Diddy” for Manfred Mann and “River Deep, Mountain High” for Ike and Tina Turner. Jeff’s love of Doo-Wop, Ellie’s affinity towards girl groups and Phil’s ability to mold the songs they all had written into a “Wall Of Sound”, made for an unbeatable combonation!

Jeff and Ellie sang together as the Raindrops, and co-produced Neil Diamond’s first hits, “Solitary Man”, “Cherry, Cherry” and worked with Shadow Morton, on “Remember (Walkin’ In The Sand)”, and “Leader Of The Pack” by the Shangri-las and “Chapel Of Love”, by the Dixie Cups. When their marriage ended , so did their collaboration with Phil Spector and Jeff started producing on his own. After a successful string of hits with the Monkees, “I’m A Believer”, “A Little Bit You, A Little Bit Me”, and the Archies, “Sugar, Sugar”, “Bang Shang -a-Lang”…his creativity took a new turn.

I didn’t see Jeff for a couple years, then while I was visiting my friend songwriter, Paul Williams (“We’ve Only Just Begun”, “Old Fashioned Love Song”) on the A&M Records lot. Jeff, who had just signed a co-publishing deal with Irving/ Almo Music, came in and played me a song he had written, “Walking In The Sun”

Walkin’ In The Sun

Words and music by Jeff Barry

Well, things have been goin’ wrong long enough to know when everything’s just right
I’ve been walking in the dark long enough to know when I’ve finally seen the light
I’ve been losing long enough to know when I finally have won
And even the blind man can tell when he’s walking in the sun.

Well, I’ve cried enough tears to recognize this feeling of a smile
I’ve been bottom rung long enough to know when I’m doing it in style
I’ve been running long enough to know when there’s no more need to run
(O Lord) Even the blind man can tell when he’s walking in the sun.

The wind is at my back and I’m sailing on a ship long overdue
I’ve blown so many chances, I ain’t gonna blow this one with you
And I’ve seen enough bad times to know when the good times have begun
O Lord – Even the blind man can tell when he’s walking in the sun

(Oh yeah) Even the blind man can tell when he’s walking in the sun.

Copyright 1973 Irving Music/Jeff Barry International, administered by BMI.

I sat there with my mouth dropped open, fighting back a tear. I always admired and respected Jeff for his ability to tap into the teen market and realistically express their emotions…but I realized his writing had reached a new level. Although I was working for Warner Brothers Music as general Professional Manager, and it was my job to plug my companies songs, I gave a demo of “Walking In The Sun” to my friend, Bob Monoco who recorded it the following week with Chaka Kahn and her group Rufus!

It was years later that I learned that the song was written for his father, who was blind and only this morning did I read the complete story behind the song, in Jeff’s own words on his official website.

The next time I placed one of Jeff’s songs, it was in a more of an “official” capacity. I was hired to run Irving/ Almo, and on my first day on the job, I gave Olivia Newton John, “I Honestly Love You”, that Jeff wrote with the late Peter Allan, which became the record of the year in 1974!

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

For Jeff Barry’s Official Website http://lpintop.tripod.com/jeffbarry/

Special thanks to Laura Pinto http://laurapinto.tripod.com/

For the complete story behind, “I Honestly Love You”

https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/09/13/olivia-newton-john-tries-to-squeeze-one-more-hit-out-of-jeff-barry-and-artie-wayne/

I just got an e-mail from my old friend Ron Dante (lead singer for the Archies, Cufflinks, and Detergents.) about my early mentor Paul Vance (“Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”, “Catch A Falling Star”) Ron assured me that the announcement of Pauls demise was definitley premature! A man falsely claiming for 50 years to be the writer of “Bikini”, passed away and when his widow printed the outrageous songwriting credit in his obituary, the Associated Press picked it up (without checking the facts, obviously) and spread the story throughout the media! I hope Paul takes action against this irresponsible act of journalism that disrupted his life and takes advantage of the media attention to promote himself and his incredible body of work!
This episode really got me worked up and I started thinking of how many imposters I’ve met in the music buisness. I once exposed a guy claiming to be Napoleon the Fourteenth who wrote and performed, “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha”, which I might’ve believed If I hadn’t been at some of my late friend, Jerry Samuels sessions as he was recording this classic. I kicked this guy out of my office, as fast as I could! Then there was this woman who wanted me to sign her to Warner Brothers Music. She claimed to be the writer of Jean Knights, “Mr. Big Stuff.” You should’ve seen how fast she backtracked when I brought her into a meeting and introduced her to a couple of big Stax producers she claimed to know!

My most interesting experience, however, came when I first moved to Hollywood and started working at Viva Music. I got a call from one of the A&R men at United Artists Records, which was right down the street. He was about to sign contracts and give a rather large check to Artie Resnick (co-writer and co-producer, with Joey Levine of (“Yummy, Yummy, Yummy”, “Chewy, Chewy”) but he felt in his gut…that something was wrong. He knew I had represented Artie back in New York and asked to me join his meeting in progress. I sat quietly and waited for Artie to come in. After a few minutes I realized that the stranger, who had been dominating the conversation, was the one who had been claiming to be my friend! I kept my mouth from hanging open and quietly left the room, informing security that the man inside was indeed an imposter! They gave me five minutes to safely leave the premises before they threw him out of the office. I left quickly, keeping in mind the old Bronx Philosophy,”The Ass You Save May Be Your own!”

You can reach Ron Dante at http://rondante.com/

Artie Wayne at http://artiewayne.com