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Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton on top of Britney Spears!

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When Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan hang out together, And separately, can the devil be far behind? Men who once stared at women’s breasts during a coversation, finally have another place to look! Last week, on “The View”, Rosie O’Donnell, held up a pair of tiny red panties she supposedly bought Britney. This gave her an excuse to hold up her own huge “Granny Panties”, it might have made the audience laugh…but I’m sure it made all the men who were watching shrivel up in horror!

Now that a video of Michael Richards in blackface has surfaced, how are his “Spin Doctors” going to handle that? Are they going to call it a “Tribute” to Stepin’ Fetchit? What is frightning about this are some of the comments made by the thousands of people who have seen it over the last few days! Click onto http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVt6eoKB9sw&eurl=

The Sunday morning political talk shows had quite a few Democrats recently “emboldened” by the mid-term elections, who sound as delusional as the current administration does! What it comes down to is, everybody wants to get out of Iraq but nobody knows quite how to do it! I’m sure that our ( I mean their, ) Prime Minister will be urged to make a premature statement that Iraq is ready to govern itself, and get America off the hook. I just hope we leave a few troops and enough nukes to thwart those who are eager to make a “Shish-ka-bomb” or a “Korean Bar-B-Que” out of all of us!

As far as the Iranians go, we should be afraid…very afraid! In my youth I went out with a few Iranian girls who actually told me that they were brought up to tell people what they wanted to hear, then go out and do the exact opposite. One of these girls was the beautiful daughter of a deposed general, who was exiled to the United States along with the Shah of Iran. I admit it was exciting to wonder who was following us on our dates, her father’s bodyguards…or the Secret Service! All of this danger, brought us closer together, and she revealed many aspects of her culture I never knew about. She told me that Iranian men showed no quarter to their enemy and were fierce warriors because they weren’t afraid of dying! It was only when she told me that she feared for my safety, did I take our cultural differences seriously! We continued to see each other secretly, which led me to co-write my first hit song, ” ( Meet Me At) Midnight Mary” (Raleigh/ Wayne). I lost touch with her after she ran off with some Cuban Freedom Fighter!

I’ll tell ya’, It’s becoming harder and harder to avoid politics, when we can almost hear God whispering to the Earth, “Your 15 minutes are up!” What’s really scary is the possibility of Hilary Clinton actually becoming President…I would only feel confident if she chose Danny DeVito as her running mate! At least we’d have a few laughs before we all had to “Duck and Cover”!

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne

IF YOU LIKE “EM REALLY BIG! CLICK ON TO http://www.over50music.com/

EXTRA! EXTRA! EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS KRISTEN BELL BLOWS!
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/11/12/it-was-women-and-children-firstthe-day-the-bubblegum-bubble-burst/ 

EXCLUSIVE! Lindsay Sniffs, Paris Strips, Rosie flips! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/05/30/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-lindsay-sniffs-paris-strips-rosie-flips/

FLASH!!! Lindsay Lohan Voted People’s “Skank Of The Week!
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/05/16/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-peoples-first-skank-of-the-week/

NEW EXCLUSIVE!- BALD BRITNEY ARRESTED AT LAX! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/02/19/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-excusive-bald-britney-arrested-at-airport/

Exclusive photo! “Triple Breasted Beauty!” https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/26/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-triple-breasted-beauty-photo-exclusive/

See what Britney saw, the uncensored video of Justin Timberlake’s Dick In A Box! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/20/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-plus-justin-timberlakes-dick-in-a-box/

Shocking NEW Photo – Is This Really Britney Spears Pussy? Click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-is-this-really-britney-spears-pussy/


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Once upon a time a publicist would warn their female clients not to be photographed exiting a car if they weren’t wearing underwear…now they warn them not to be photographed like that unless they shave! We’re living in an era where publicists rule and manipulate our perceptions…usually without us ever knowing it.

Look what happened when Tom Cruise terminated his long time public relations Ace, Pat Kingsley and hired his sister. The wall that had carefully been created around him quickly started to erode, and we saw Tom for the first time in all of his Scientological glory!

Now I have to hand it to Michael Richards for hiring publicist Howard Rubenstein, who has deep ties in the black community, to get him off the hook for using the “N” word against hecklers. Now the ball has been picked up by Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson, who have forgiven Richards and consider his actions just a symptom of a larger social sickness in America. Last week the three unlikely compadres and African- American Congresswoman Maxine Waters called for the word Nigger never to be used again by rappers, filmakers and comedians!

That’s obviously a great idea, pioneered in the 60s by comedian Lenny Bruce in a routine that trivialized the word. A similar concept was embraced and promoted in the 70s by Richard Pryor after a trip to Africa, where he experienced Black pride for the first time. Wait a second…Michael Richards, suddenly is no longer on the hot seat and has become somewhat of a hero! Has he repented enough, or should his skin be chemically darkened then made to live in a Harlem project for a year as penance for his rant? What about the publicist, Howard Rubenstein, who came up with this brilliant scheme? I think he should go to Washington and made chief of staff and paint pretty pictures for us, until we all figure out what’s going on!

IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE SONG “CRACK IN A STAR ON HOLLYWOOD B’LVD.” CLICK ONTO http://artiewayne.com/crack.html

2011 by Artie Wayne https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/about-artie-wayne/

EXTRA! EXTRA! NOW YOU CAN BUY MY NEW BOOK ,“I DID IT FOR A SONG” AT AMAZON or Barnes & Noble or from Smashwords

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BACK TO ARTIE WAYNE ON THE WEB! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com

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Cheryl Burke and Emmitt Smith

There are a lot of rumors circulating on the internet…let’s see what’s out there this week!

This season’s winner of the “Dancing with the Stars”competition, Emmitt Smith, has signed to star in a new film, an “All Singing, All Dancing” version of his life. Clay Aiken and Michael Jackson have already signed on to play two of his pals from the Dallas Cowboys!

This season’s runner-up, on the popular dance show, Mario Lopez has been granted amnesty by Govenor Arnold Schwartzenegger for performing unauthorized moves on his partner Karina during the competition!

Jerry Springer, former controversial talk show host, instigator, referee, Mayor of Cincinnati, and dance show contestant, has been tapped to replace John J. Bolton as US Ambassador to the UN!

Today, Al Gore celebrates the anniversary of the Internet…which he invented 16 years ago!

The Paris home of Sascha Baron Cohen, the creator and star of “Borat”, is besieged by villagers from Kazakhstan, who are bearing torches! The impoverished group, from the country where the highly succesful film took place, cry out for some more “Bread” for the demeaning roles they were tricked into playing. Cohen’s insensitive girlfriend, is heard to say, “Let them cake”… just before the shit hits the fan!

Last night, George Michael, “Googled” himself and was promptly taken into custody!

Kevin Federline, recently retired rapper K-Fed, now known as Fed-Ex, is allegedly hawking the intimate video he made on his honeymoon with Britney Spears. Gentleman that he is, he claims he’s only using it as audition tape to get his next gig! Look at your watch Kevin, your 15 minues are up!

Is it really over between 60 Minutes’ Andy Rooney and Hollywood bad girl Lindsey Lohan?

Bush goes to Vietnam…as Hell freezes over!

And finally, why wasn’t Scientology founder, L. Ron Hubbard, invited to the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding?…Because he passed away in 1986 or so we’ve been led to believe!

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne

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Kym Johnson and Jerry Springer

Up until last week, Jerry Springer the controversial talk show host, had a leg upon the competition…then he finished in the bottom two. Who knows what’ll happen tonight?

Although I enjoy watching them dance on”Dancing With The Stars”, I tune in just as much to hear the songs they use for the dance numbers that range from the ’50s up to the present! If you haven’t noticed there aren’t many songs on the radio and TV that you can actually sing along with these days and Harold Wheeler (The Musical director) of Dancing with the Stars is a master of matching the right song…to the right dance! Who knew that Britney Spears’, “Toxic” was a tango? Hip Hop is OK, but how many times can we, “Throw our hands in the air…and wave ’em like we just don’t care?”

It’s been years since I went out dancing at a club or singing in a Karaoke bar but now there have been quite a few places on TV like “Duets”, “Americas Got Talent”, “Supernova”, that keep me singing and dancing in my dreams. I can’t wait to see Simon Cowells new show “THE X-FACTOR”…I hope it’s enough to hold me over ’til “American Idol” returns in January!