Like everybody else, I was curious about “those” infamous pictures of the most searched name on the web, Britney Spears. So I innocently “Googled” Britney Spears pussy. I was shocked to find this picture on the first page! Is this really Britney’s pussy or somebodys idea of a joke?
Designer Oscar De La Rente, allegedly sold the same red designer evening dress to four women, who wore it to the same Gala at the White House, including First Lady, Laura Bush! De La Rente, was found later that evening, wandering around aimlessly in the White House Rose garden. He was disheveled and mumbled something about four Ninjas, in high heels, who silently beat the shit out of him, while a little black dog in a hockey mask nipped repeatedly at his ankles!
Now you too can smell just like Paris Hilton, by wearing her new fragrance, “Vogue on the Outside…Vague on the Inside.”
Suri, the 7 month old “Scientolgy Wonder Baby”, of Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes not only has learned how to talk, walk and do simple algebra…she’s also learned how to fly!
Kevin Federline and Bobby Brown have taken starring roles in new Fox comedy series, “Assholes Never Take A Day Off”, about two proctolgists who moonlight as lawyers.
19 year old starlet Lindsay Lohan. has been seen around the Big Apple with 80 year old crooner, Tony Bennett. When reminded that having sex with an age difference like theirs could result in death, Tony smiled and said, “If she dies…she dies!”
I guess the human sacrifice worked, Mel Gibson’s film, “Apocalpypto” is number one at the box-office this week!
At least 3 of the people, who are being considered for the new head of the CIA, applied for the job after seeing the agency’s contoversial TV recruitment ads on,”Dancing with the Stars”.
Nicole Ritchie, the 85 pound, co-star of “The Simple Life”, remains at large after she greased herself up with butter and escaped through the bars of the L.A. County Jail, where she was taken after a DUI arrest.
After unexpectedly “outing” singer Clay Aiken and enraging Chinese people everywhere by performing an impromptu, stereotypical impersonation of them, “The View” co-host, and resident loose cannon, Rosie O’Donnell, has been given 3 bodyguards to watch her 24 hours a day. “The View”producers, are afraid she might attempt a hostile takeover of the show while Barbara Walters is away on vacation!
Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne
To see the uncensored, unedited video of Justin Timberlake’s Dick In A Box https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/20/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-plus-justin-timberlakes-dick-in-a-box/
To see “More” of Britney Spears…click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/
To see the”Most” of Britney Spears…click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/
Angelina Jolie is Lara Croft
I found out that I can’t join the CIA, because I’m past retirement age, partially disabled and don’t have a college degree. Shit!! So I decided to do the next best thing. I unselfishly submitted my observations to Geraldo Rivera, the Fox TV investigative reporter, who’s got the power to get the facts behind the story of the Central Intellegence Agency using TV commercials to find new agents on TV shows. For the last ten days I’ve seen the CIA recruitment ads on “Dancing With The Stars” (this week and last week) , “The Simpsons”, and “Mad TV”…and no one in the media has said anything…at least not loud enough for me to hear!
If American Idol can find a Taylor Hicks through their TV recruiting methods, I guess the CIA is allowed find another Jack Ryan through theirs! In fact, the more I think about it the less I think of it as a government conspiracy and more of a pretty clever way to find and attract geeks, Bloggers, Podcasters, video gamers, and those other rebels who think outside the box. This campaign reaches people who otherwise might not seek a career in the CIA, but whose skills might be exactly what the agency is looking for and desperately needs!
Only one question remains, if the CIA was planning this kind of media blitz since January, what was with the Karl Rove scandal and why was the White House leak of a CIA agents name such a big deal?
After Seeing All Of The TV Recruitment Ads, I Want To Join The CIA!
October 16, 2006
Halle Berry – Die Another Day
During the Cold War The Soviet Union routinely used Psychics and Remote Viewers in their Intellegence program. The United States soon followed suit and created Stargate, which was under the wing of the C.I.A. Ever since I was A teenager I knew I had “Psychic” abilities, as a young man I heard about Stargate, but my dream to become a Rock and Roll star overshadowed everything else. By the time I was ready to join, the program had been discontinued!
Although I’ve reached retirement age, I am clearheaded and as relevant as I ever have been and if anything my “Psychic” abilities are operating on overdrive. I saw the C.I.A. recuitment ads on “Dancing With The Stars”, “The Simpsons”, “Mad TV”, and the Fox local news this past week! As far as my qualifactions go I wrote the following piece for my forthcoming book.
In 1969, on the day of the Moonwalk, I was walking east on New York’s 57th street when I passed one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen walking west. We smiled at each other as we continued in opposite directions. Then a voice inside screamed, “Turn around …go back and talk to her…before she gets away!”
I stopped in my tracks…and as I turned around I saw that she had stopped and turned around also. Although I was customarily blinded by beauty, sex and emotions, this time I sensed a deeper connection. I found out at dinner that Victoria was an actress and a lay student of the mystic. All through that romantic and magical night, when I told her about some of my “Indefinable experiences”, she was able to put a name on them.
As we sat and talked in front of her fireplace, she introduced me to the writings of Edgar Cayce, Ouspensky, and Guerjiev and showed me that I wasn’t alone. Then, when I left in the morning, she gave me a copy of “Damien” by Herman Hesse, and gently kissed me goodbye.
Although I was exhausted I couldn’t put the book down and finished it that day…and thought about Victoria that night. As lay in bed, I felt like I was vibrating…I closed my eyes and visually retraced my steps to her apartment a few blocks away. I felt myself entering her apartment, in between the molecules of her double locked door and floating into her bedroom. As I watched her tossing and turning …my telephone suddenly rang and jarred me back into my own bed.
“Artie…You were just here weren’t you?” Victoria softly muttered, “Let me get some sleep…I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
How could she…? Did I really…? Is it possible that…? Although I had done this sort of thing before in my head…this was the first confirmation I had actually projected myself somewhere and someone was aware of it.
The time we were together over the next few months, I spent a lot of time reading, asking questions, channeling and Astral Projecting. Victoria kept encouraging me to aggressively pursue my own songwriting and singing career instead of representing music of other people, which included many of the “Bubblegum” hits of the day.
Unfortunately, a critically acclaimed album that I made as Shadow Mann for the infamous Morris Levy had just bombed out [mainly because it contained a controversial single “Come and Live with Me”…A radical concept for 1969]. I didn’t know what I wanted to do next…I just knew I didn’t want to do it in New York.
Earlier in the year I made my first trip to California…and felt a deep connection with the people and the music.
After a “Love-In” scheduled for Easter Sunday 1970 in Central Park was cancelled because of snow, I sold my interest in my publishing and administration companies, packed up all my stuff and moved to Hollywood.
I would see Victoria, from time to time when I’d go back for a visit, but lost touch physically over the years. Sometimes I feel her strong presence around me influencing me… I wonder if she has passed over to the other side?
Copyright – 2005 by Artie Wayne
If you haven’t seen the CIA recruitment ad go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg4_MuV4MpY
For more information about the CIA go to http://www.cia.gov
Jennifer Garner in “Alias”
After months of media driven speculation on who leaked the name of C.I.A. agent Valarie Plame to the Press I was surprised to see the C.I.A. come out of the closet! I was watching “Dancing With The Stars” on tuesday night, trying to figure out which couples were making beautiful music together when the cameras were turned off…when I got the shock of my life. As I was waiting for the results from the judges, among the regular commercials I saw a recruitment ad for the C.I.A.! Yes…at one time one of America’s most covert operations, was advertising on one of televisions most popular shows, looking for new agents!
After searching the Net for more information, I found that the ad was running on the Discovery channel and also ran during “The Simpsons”. I can’t wait to see Jennifer Garner, who played C.I.A. agent Sidney Bristow in “Alias” make her pitch for the agency in their new video!
In the meantime, if you like to see the 30 second clip that ran the other night, click onto http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg4_MuV4MpY&eurl=
For more information about the C.I.A. go to http://cia.gov
Artie Wayne On The Web 