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Britney, Brooke, Halle, and Cameron from their new film, “Bald Is Beautiful”

Britney Spears, bald on top and bald at the bottom, was mistaken for a member of the Hare Krishna at LAX airport last night. When passengers started dropping change into the coffee cup she was carrying, airport security took her into custody for panhandling. When she was released, the police apologized and allowed her to keep the $26 she had collected, providing she’d buy a hat and some panties!

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY ON TOP OF ZAC EFRON AND VANESSA HUDGENS! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/matthew-mcconaughey-on-top-of-zac-efron-and-vanessa-hudgens/

Inspired by the successful reunion of the Police, last week at the Grammys, The Archies have gotten back together, except for Jughead who is still at large after being featured on “America’s Most Wanted”.

FIRST PHOTOS! PIGS IN LIPSTICK MARCH ON WASHINGTON! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/exclusive-photos-pigs-in-lipstick-march-on-washington/

 Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, has taken several meetings with Eric Rice, one of the creators of Second Life, the most popular alternate reality site on the Internet. Rice wants a law to protect the rights of humans who visit Second Life and want to marry one of the virtual characters they design. He also wants to give them the power to delete any of the virtual children they may accidentally create!

In-And-Out, the fast food giant, has had a 22% increase in revenue in their Hollywood locations, since adding “A Stint In Rehab” to their menu.

EXTRA! EXTRA! KRISTEN BELL BLOWS! EXCLUSIVE PICTURES
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/11/12/it-was-women-and-children-firstthe-day-the-bubblegum-bubble-burst/

The CEOs of all broadcast and cable networks met secretly yesterday to figure out how they’re going to fill up airtime once the Anna Nicole Smith story plays out.

After airline passengers were left stranded on a snowbound runway for up to eleven hours, without food and water, Jet Blue vowed it would never happen again! Now, every passenger, upon boarding, is issued a roll of Lifesavers and a package of M&Ms.

This year, with African-American nominees dominating the Oscars, Martin Scorsese Nominated for directing,”The Departed”, is determined not to get snubbed by the Academy again! The Italian dirctor on “Entertainment Tonight” sporting dreadlocks and a deep salon tan said,”‘Bout time we brothers and sisters finally be getting our props!”

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The Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences, Has always kept it’s final tally of votes for each Oscar winner a well guarded secret. For the first time, the Academy has revealed how the winner is determined in the event there is a tie. It also explains why God is usually the first one thanked by the winners!

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

EXCLUSIVE! THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU CAN SEE LINDSAY LOHAN AND PARIS HILTON ON TOP OF BRITNEY SPEARS! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/

CRACK IN A STAR ON HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD…BRITNEY EXCLUSIVE!
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/ 

Because you’ve been good, now you get “NOOKIE”S TOP CHRISTMAS AND “HAUKKAH VIDEOS for FREE!” includes Adam Sandler’s “HANUKKAH SONG”, the Full Original Version of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” , JUST ADDED JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, CARRIE UNDERWOOD, TOBY KEITH, BON JOVI SINGING “THE HANUKKAH SONG!” and MUCH, MUCH MORE! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/22/nookies-top-holiday-video-picks/

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Binky is horrified after discovering he’s only one pair of chromosomes away from being human!

The world is reeling after a cell phone video released on the internet shows a silver haired Elvis Presley, celebrating his birthday in Brazil with his balding pals, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison. Can a “Return of the Kings” tour be far behind?

Role model Paris hilton, in an exclusive interview with Entertainment Tonight, admits she’s not promiscuous and only has sex when she’s in a relationship. Later, she confides in People magazine that she had 112 “relationships” in 2006!

At his long awaited press conference today, President Bush, was outraged that the entire press corp laughed when he proposed enlisting the aid of Jedi Warriors and Storm Troopers to help end the war in Iraq. When informed by veteran reporter Helen Thomas that they all were ficticious characters from “Star Wars”, Bush smirked and said, ” Next thing you’ll try to tell me is that Spiderman isn’t real! ”

Shock Jock, Howard Stern just received an 83 million dollar bonus from his bosses at Sirius radio. It’s reported that he gets $100 every time he curses or tells an off color joke.

Several technicians at NASA were fired today after it was revealed that they were using the extreme close-up lens on the Hubble telescope, which circles 380 miles above the earth, to photograph Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan exiting cars in Hollywood!

A team of Iraqi sharpshooters, rifles loaded with silver bullets as well as local villagers armed with wooden stakes, are said to be watching Saddam Hussein’s unmarked grave 24 hours a day…just in case the execution didn’t “take”.

The noxious fumes that hung over New York earlier this week was deemed to be only the fallout from the raging feud between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell.

Congress has unanimously approved the use of convicted Taliban as human missles. The terrorists, ironically, will have bombs strapped to them and dropped without parachutes over Somalia, to help wipe out their Al Qaeda comrades!

The video of the week submitted by Patti Dahlstrom should give you a smile! http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1734043

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne