Now that Britney and Paris, are temporarily out of action, Lindsay Lohan is the most searched name on the web. She also made it to the top of the Maxim Top 100 list and has been voted People’s first “Skank Of The Week!”


When “Dancing With The Stars” judges deducted one point from Helio and Julianne’s score for being, “Too Sexy”, they dressed and rushed off stage.

After scientists released findings last week that X-rays of of a skull fossil suggest that human ancestors had pea sized brains, it was discovered that they were mistakingly looking at Rosie O’Donnell’s MRI results!

An intern at Bethesda, Md. hospital was arrested yesterday after he tried to slip a “Do not resuscitate” bracelet on Vice-President Cheney, during a routine physical.

EXTRA! EXTRA! KRISTEN BELL BLOWS! EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours as Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

At the Republican debate in Columbia, South Carolina last night, the 10 “Mass Debaters”, ended the evening by joining hands and singing “Nothing Could Be Finer Than To Be In Carolina”, which the press thought was “cute”. Things turned ugly, however, when Rudy Giuliani did the “Full Monte”!

When a reporter from the National Enquirer, asked Paris Hilton, how she would she define “enough sex”? She smiled and said, “More than anyone ever gets.”

Has anyone noticed the resemblance between “American Idol” finalist, Melinda Doolittle and Shrek 3 which happens to open on Friday? Is it a coincidence or possibly one of cleverest marketing ploys of all time?


Never underestimate the power of the Disney corporation. When Mickey Mouse, their most popular character, was used by Hamas to teach hatred of the West to Mid-Eastern children, Disney sent in their crack anti-copyright infringement SWAT team, to shut them down. In less than 24 hours, not only was the offensive show taken off the air, but the actor playing the mouse turned out to be Osama Bin Laden, and was taken into custody…officially ending the war on terrorism!

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne