The Food and Drug Administration has issued a warning for consumers to watch out for fake male contraceptive pills that are flooding the market. The real pills don’t have a colorful candy shell with an “M” stamped on the outside!
Paris Hilton was smart to bow out of hosting the Billboard Award show. It wasn’t the first time an award show sucked…but it was the first time anyone ever accused Paris Hilton of being smart.
As predicted weeks ago by Artie Wayne on the Web, U.S. Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton has resigned. His replacement is rumored to be former talk show host and “Dancing with the Stars” contestant, Jerry Springer!
An embarassed Sylvester Stallone, was released from jail this morning after falling asleep, and being accidently locked inside the Smithsonian institute, where other artifacts from the “Rocky” movies are now on exhibit.
Charlie Sheen saved his ex-wife, Denise Richards life today. She ran in to him at the market and he didn’t try to kill her!
The Reverends, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have teamed up with racist turned civil rights activist, Michael Richards, in a national effort to ban the “N” word. Philanthropists, Bill and Melinda Gates, surprised everyone by buying the copyright to the offensive word and promising to sue anyone who uses it without their written permission!
Comedian (?) Andy Dick, has issued two apologies. The first is for using the “N” word in his act, the second for failing to turn it into a career move like Michael Richards.
The Iraq study group concludes the fastest way to end the war is to call for a “do-over”, and free Sadaam Hussain from custody. President Bush says he’ll consider it…but only if Sadaam promises to be good!
Last night Britney Spears showed up on the Red Carpet, “slightly” dressed in a tiny halter on the top and a Band-aid on the bottom, showing once and for all why she tops the Yahoo most popular seach terms for 2006!
To see Britney- “Crack In A Star On Hollywood Boulevard” Just click
https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/
Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne
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Cheryl Burke and Emmitt Smith
There are a lot of rumors circulating on the internet…let’s see what’s out there this week!
This season’s winner of the “Dancing with the Stars”competition, Emmitt Smith, has signed to star in a new film, an “All Singing, All Dancing” version of his life. Clay Aiken and Michael Jackson have already signed on to play two of his pals from the Dallas Cowboys!
This season’s runner-up, on the popular dance show, Mario Lopez has been granted amnesty by Govenor Arnold Schwartzenegger for performing unauthorized moves on his partner Karina during the competition!
Jerry Springer, former controversial talk show host, instigator, referee, Mayor of Cincinnati, and dance show contestant, has been tapped to replace John J. Bolton as US Ambassador to the UN!
Today, Al Gore celebrates the anniversary of the Internet…which he invented 16 years ago!
The Paris home of Sascha Baron Cohen, the creator and star of “Borat”, is besieged by villagers from Kazakhstan, who are bearing torches! The impoverished group, from the country where the highly succesful film took place, cry out for some more “Bread” for the demeaning roles they were tricked into playing. Cohen’s insensitive girlfriend, is heard to say, “Let them cake”… just before the shit hits the fan!
Last night, George Michael, “Googled” himself and was promptly taken into custody!
Kevin Federline, recently retired rapper K-Fed, now known as Fed-Ex, is allegedly hawking the intimate video he made on his honeymoon with Britney Spears. Gentleman that he is, he claims he’s only using it as audition tape to get his next gig! Look at your watch Kevin, your 15 minues are up!
Is it really over between 60 Minutes’ Andy Rooney and Hollywood bad girl Lindsey Lohan?
Bush goes to Vietnam…as Hell freezes over!
And finally, why wasn’t Scientology founder, L. Ron Hubbard, invited to the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding?…Because he passed away in 1986 or so we’ve been led to believe!
Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne
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