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It looks like Saddam Hussein won’t be able to compete as a contestant on next season’s, “Dancing with the Stars”, due to a prior commitment.

Have Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan taken a “time out”? None of the notorious trio have been drunk, arrested or flashed anyone in over a week!

Kevin Federline, has finally made it! He has been the punchline of 27 % of all the jokes told on the Jay Leno, David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel shows, since his break-up with Britney Spears was announced.

The Indian tribe, who bought the Hard Rock Cafe chain of restaurants for a billion dollars, has put in an undisclosed bid to purchase New York’s Central Park. The Chief smiled and said, “Eventually we’ll get all of Manhattan back…even if we have to pay a little more than we got for it!”

Why was ex-congressman Mark Foley, in a “homemade” Santa Claus suit, being chased by a bunch of irate elves in Macy’s yesterday?

All the hype in the world couldn’t keep William Shatner’s, “Show Me The Money”, on the air. ABC execs claim, ” Not only were the ratings low…but it was just too shitty to continue.”

Did Donald Trump change his mind about firing, “Miss USA” Tara Conners, because philanthropist and homeless advocate, Hugh Hefner offered the recently evicted, Ms. Connors a safe place to stay and a continuing role on “The Girls Next Door”? What a guy, Hef even told her, she wouldn’t have to sign a morals clause!

Yesterday, stocks on Wall Street reached an all-time high…and so did Willie Nelson!

Was Justin Timberlake serious when he gave his girl friend his “Dick In A Box”, An uncensored , unedited Saturday Night Live Video! For Schizzle…My Nizzle! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

Special thanks to Alan O’Day for finding “Dick In A Box” and not turning it in to the Lost and Found!

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne

For more “If It’s On The Internet…It’s Gotta’ Be True!” https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/11/05/if-you-saw-it-on-the-internetthen-you-know-its-gotta-be-true/

Even More “If You Saw It On the Internet…yada, yada, yada” https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-is-this-really-britney-spears-pussy/

To reach Alan O’Day http://alanoday.com

Justin Timberlake http://www.myspace.com/justintimberlake

Kevin Federline http://whothehellcares.com

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Like everybody else, I was curious about “those” infamous pictures of the most searched name on the web, Britney Spears. So I innocently “Googled” Britney Spears pussy. I was shocked to find this picture on the first page! Is this really Britney’s pussy or somebodys idea of a joke?

Designer Oscar De La Rente, allegedly sold the same red designer evening dress to four women, who wore it to the same Gala at the White House, including First Lady, Laura Bush! De La Rente, was found later that evening, wandering around aimlessly in the White House Rose garden. He was disheveled and mumbled something about four Ninjas, in high heels, who silently beat the shit out of him, while a little black dog in a hockey mask nipped repeatedly at his ankles!

Now you too can smell just like Paris Hilton, by wearing her new fragrance, “Vogue on the Outside…Vague on the Inside.”

Suri, the 7 month old “Scientolgy Wonder Baby”, of Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes not only has learned how to talk, walk and do simple algebra…she’s also learned how to fly!

Kevin Federline and Bobby Brown have taken starring roles in new Fox comedy series, “Assholes Never Take A Day Off”, about two proctolgists who moonlight as lawyers.

19 year old starlet Lindsay Lohan. has been seen around the Big Apple with 80 year old crooner, Tony Bennett. When reminded that having sex with an age difference like theirs could result in death, Tony smiled and said, “If she dies…she dies!”

I guess the human sacrifice worked, Mel Gibson’s film, “Apocalpypto” is number one at the box-office this week!

At least 3 of the people, who are being considered for the new head of the CIA, applied for the job after seeing the agency’s contoversial TV recruitment ads on,”Dancing with the Stars”.

Nicole Ritchie, the 85 pound, co-star of “The Simple Life”, remains at large after she greased herself up with butter and escaped through the bars of the L.A. County Jail, where she was taken after a DUI arrest.

After unexpectedly “outing” singer Clay Aiken and enraging Chinese people everywhere by performing an impromptu, stereotypical impersonation of them, “The View” co-host, and resident loose cannon, Rosie O’Donnell, has been given 3 bodyguards to watch her 24 hours a day. “The View”producers, are afraid she might attempt a hostile takeover of the show while Barbara Walters is away on vacation!

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne

To see the uncensored, unedited video of Justin Timberlake’s Dick In A Box https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/20/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-plus-justin-timberlakes-dick-in-a-box/

To see “More” of Britney Spears…click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/

To see the”Most” of Britney Spears…click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/

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Cheryl Burke and Emmitt Smith

There are a lot of rumors circulating on the internet…let’s see what’s out there this week!

This season’s winner of the “Dancing with the Stars”competition, Emmitt Smith, has signed to star in a new film, an “All Singing, All Dancing” version of his life. Clay Aiken and Michael Jackson have already signed on to play two of his pals from the Dallas Cowboys!

This season’s runner-up, on the popular dance show, Mario Lopez has been granted amnesty by Govenor Arnold Schwartzenegger for performing unauthorized moves on his partner Karina during the competition!

Jerry Springer, former controversial talk show host, instigator, referee, Mayor of Cincinnati, and dance show contestant, has been tapped to replace John J. Bolton as US Ambassador to the UN!

Today, Al Gore celebrates the anniversary of the Internet…which he invented 16 years ago!

The Paris home of Sascha Baron Cohen, the creator and star of “Borat”, is besieged by villagers from Kazakhstan, who are bearing torches! The impoverished group, from the country where the highly succesful film took place, cry out for some more “Bread” for the demeaning roles they were tricked into playing. Cohen’s insensitive girlfriend, is heard to say, “Let them cake”… just before the shit hits the fan!

Last night, George Michael, “Googled” himself and was promptly taken into custody!

Kevin Federline, recently retired rapper K-Fed, now known as Fed-Ex, is allegedly hawking the intimate video he made on his honeymoon with Britney Spears. Gentleman that he is, he claims he’s only using it as audition tape to get his next gig! Look at your watch Kevin, your 15 minues are up!

Is it really over between 60 Minutes’ Andy Rooney and Hollywood bad girl Lindsey Lohan?

Bush goes to Vietnam…as Hell freezes over!

And finally, why wasn’t Scientology founder, L. Ron Hubbard, invited to the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding?…Because he passed away in 1986 or so we’ve been led to believe!

Copyright 2006 by Artie Wayne