If It’s On The Internet, It’s Gotta Be True! Lindsay Sniffs, Paris Strips, Rosie Flips!
May 30, 2007
When Rosie O’Donnell, followed Elizabeth Hasselbeck home after their fight on “The View”, it’s fortunate that her husband, Tim Hasselbeck NY Giants Quarterback, answered the door. He was able to hold off Rosie until his wife could change the batteries in her stun gun. Ms. O’Donnell, will be arraigned in court on Monday…on 23 counts of being a bitch.
“Survivor” producer Mark Burnette and Chef Emeril Lagasse, have changed the name of their new show, “Adventures with Road Kill” to “Cooking On A Budget”.
The 28 planets recently discovered have been named after the 7 Dwarfs, Angelina and Madonna’s adopted children, as well as, 15 of Anne Heche’s multiple personalities!
It looks like the hottest show in the UK, “Are You Smarter Than A Monkey?”, won’t be coming to the US, until they find some celebrities who can beat the monkey!
Hugh Hefner, is recovering after taking an accidental overdose of horse Viagra at the Kentucky Derby.
“Dancing With The Stars”, has been having trouble finding celebrities for their show since it was announced that attempted murderess, Amy Fisher and her former lover, “Bad Ass” Joey Butafucco, were signed for next season’s competition.
Lindsay Lohan’s had second thoughts about asking Paris Hilton to be a character witness in her upcoming trial for DUI and possessing cocaine.
“Naked Paris Hilton throws herself on the mercy of the court while a confused Tinkerbell tries to revive her”, is the controversial sculpture that has been removed from the Museum of Modern Art, for exploiting an innocent “bitch” ( referring of course to the dog!)
Lynn Spears, put a shiny gold star on her daughter Britney’s little bald head, as a reward for not doing anything to make the tabloids this week.
Here’s a rare clip of Jay Leno dancing and singing with his sister as a kid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICk1Msldu1w
Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne
For more of Lindsay, Paris and Britney https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/
Thanks to Alan O’Day and Richard Yannotti for their contributions, and to the late Harvey Miller for helping with this column every week.
If It’s On The Internet, It’s Gotta’ Be True! Triple Breasted Beauty Photo Exclusive!
December 26, 2006
Lara Banks, of Atlanta Georgia was eliminated early in the Miss America contest, not because she wasn’t pretty or smart enough, but because she was considered to have one up on everyone else in the the competition!
Darrell Hammond, of Saturday Night Live, is no longer allowed to do impersonations on the show. It seems his statute of imitations has run out!
Ousted Miss Nevada USA, Katie Rees, lost her case in the court of public opinion when Heidi Fleiss, Anna Nicole Smith, and Tonya Harding testified on her behalf!
In a recent survey, 95% of women since the 1950’s admitted to having had pre-marital sex…the other 5% lied!
“Governator” Arnold Schwartzenegger, always eager for a “Photo Op”, gladly broke his leg again as soon as the Paparazzi arrived at the scene of his skiing accident.
Next month CBS debuts the new reality show, “Armed and Famous”, in which celebrities join a real police department in Indiana and are issued badges and guns. Eric Estrada, Trish Stratus, Jack Osborne (Ozzie’s son) and LaToya Jackson’s first assignment is to hunt down Danny Bonaduce.
Bono seems to be taking his recent Knighthood seriously, and plans appear in a full suit of armor at U2’s upcoming New Years Eve concert in Dublin!
What did Justin Timberlake give Cameron Diaz for Christmas? Click in the box http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA
Copyright by Artie Wayne
For more “If It’s On The Internet…It’s Gotta’ Be True!” https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/11/05/if-you-saw-it-on-the-internetthen-you-know-its-gotta-be-true/
Even More “If You Saw It On the Internet…yada, yada, yada” https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/if-its-on-the-internetits-gotta-be-true-is-this-really-britney-spears-pussy/
To see “More” of Britney Spears…click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/theres-a-crack-in-a-star-on-hollywood-boulevard-quick-call-your-publicist/
To see the”Most” of Britney Spears…click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/exclusive-photos-lindsay-lohan-and-paris-hilton-on-top-of-britney-spears/