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Presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton admits she’s been possessed with the idea of becoming the President of the United States ever since she was a child. Concerned political rivals, Barack Obama, John McCain, and Rudy Giuliani have intervened and chipped in for an excorcism!

On the first stop of their European tour, when The Dixie Chicks performed at the Vatican, Natalie Maines was outraged when the Pope refused to kiss her ring!

Angelina Jolie and Madonna are cat fighting again! This time it’s over who will portray Mother Teresa in the forthcoming biopic. Jolie wants to take the issue to the UN, while Madonna prefers to take it to Madison Square Garden!

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, changes name to politically correct, National Association for the Advancement of Colored Persons.

Michael Jackson has been getting $3,500 in Tokyo, for spending 30 seconds with each fan willing to pay the price. Unfortunately, one little boy bounced a check on the “King Of Pop”, and was forced to go back to the US to work off his debt at Jackson’s “Neverland Casino” in Las Vegas!

Jerry Springer, former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant and controversial talk show replaced Regis Philbin on “America’s Got Talent”, when Philbin was allegedly hit in the knees with a wrench by Tonya Harding, and put out of commission!

The verdict is in at the “Scooter” Libby trial. The former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney was found guilty of lying and obstructing the investigation into the 2003 leak of CIA operative Valarie Plame’s identity to reporters. Libby is expected to be sentenced to 30 years in prison, which means he’ll probably do a hundred hours of community service and a stint in rehab…if he isn’t pardoned by President Bush!

NEWS FLASH! A fistfight broke out on the White House lawn between the President and Vice-President Cheney just after the Libby verdict was read! As the two men were being separated, Ann Coulter walks by and phones a story into People magazine about two more politicians coming out of the closet!

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After losing to Binky, on the UK ‘s wildly popular TV show, “Are You Smarter Than A Monkey?”, Prince Charles is still walking around with his hand stuck in a coconut shell! So far, no one has the nerve to tell him that if he lets go of the peanut inside, he’d be able to pull his hand out easily.

When former “American Idol” contestant, Kelly Pickler made an unexpected turn and nearly poked out Ryan Seacrest’s eye with her new breast implants…he took the opportunity to ask about her recent aquisitions. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1nMojmkszI

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

For more on Angelina Jolie and Madonna’s catfight in Africa https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/01/02/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-angelina-and-madonna-cat-fight-in-africa/

For more on Binky https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/01/10/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-2007-elvis-sighting-in-brazil/

For more on Prince Charles https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/01/30/if-its-on-the-internet-its-gotta-be-true-exclusive-k-feds-superbowl-ad/

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The Dixie Chicks

When I raved to a couple of friends on how much I liked the recent number one single, “I’m Not Ready To Make Nice” by The Dixie Chicks I didn’t expect to wind up in a political debate! I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican, but I consider myself an original thinker. I will listen with an open mind…up to a point.

I’m feel blessed to live in America and be able to enjoy freedom of expression as an artist and a writer. I lived through many political witchunts and saw many writers and entertainers careers ruined by accusations that were exaggerated or sometimes even fabricated. When I heard, for myself, Natalie Maines (lead singer of the Chicks) make the comment that the band is “ashamed that the president of the United States is from Texas”, my first reaction was one of horror! How could she say such a thing about our president, in a foreign country at a time of War? I would imagine that such a statement at other times in our country’s history, during time of war, would be tantamount to treason!

When I saw their Radio play, CD sales and sale of concert tickets suffer, I thought it was a shame that the public still couldn’t seperate the Artist and the Art! I actually thought they had suffered enough, but just as I was about to forgive them and put on another cut from their landmark album, one of my friends showed me an article that ran in the Hollywood reporter on Thursday…

 

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – The company distributing a new documentary about the Dixie Chicks has blasted the NBC and CW networks for allegedly refusing to accept a commercial spot for the film, which opens in four theatere on friday.

The film, playing initially in Los Angeles and New York, revolves around the political firestorm stirred up in 2003 when the Dixie Chicks criticized Bush during a concert in London.

The Weinstein Co. distributed documents that appeared to be from NBC’s advertising standards division rejecting the spots and with the handwritten remarks about President Bush.

According to a source, the spot has been cleared for broadcast on CBS, MTV and on local NBC, CW, ABC and Fox affiliates in New York and Los Angeles, as well as on local cable systems, including local spots on Fox News and CNN. The commercial, posted at features footage of Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines.

“It’s a sad commentary about the level of fear in our society that a movie about a group of courageous entertainers who were blacklisted for exercising their right of free speech is now itself being blacklisted by corporate America,” said Harvey Weinstein, co-chairman of the Weinstein Co.

After I read this, I shook my head and said to my friends , ” Haven’t we heard enough about this already?” One of my friends chimes in, “Yeah…Let Sleeping Bitches Lie”, while the other friend responds, ” Hold on a second…You ignorent slut!” While the shit is hitting the fan, here at Artie Wayne On The Web, I’d like to hear what all of you think about all of this. You can make your comment at the end of this article…