When orphaned twin tigers and twin orangutans were raised together, zoo keepers knew they’d have to separate them before they grew up or face the possibility of one pair eating the other. Apparently, they didn’t separate them fast enough!

Native women in Malawi, Africa wisely hid their children when they heard Madonna was coming to their country for a “little visit”.

Last week, “The Invisible Man Group” made it’s debut at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Critics all agreed it was the best musical act they’ve never seen!

Hilary Clinton, is leading in the polls again after it was rumored that she’ll choose “American Idol” contestant, Sanjaya Malakar as her running mate. Sanjaya, however, has denied the rumor! He admits, when he was asked if he’d like to run with Hilary, he thought they were talking about going jogging with Hilary Duff.

Rapper Snoop Dogg, has decided to clean up his act, and sold his interest in the lingerie line, “Britches and Hose” He also eliminated, ‘Nigga”, and all other offensive words from his 3 hour stage show…which now runs at a tight 18 minutes!

Middle class African-American basher, Don Imus, anti-Semitic ranter Mel Gibson, Black-baiting comedian Michael Richards and Homophobic actor Isaiah Washington, had to be treated by a team of paramedics after they were pummeled by the Rutgers Women Basketball team during a charity dodge ball game!

“Girls Gone Wild”, CEO Joe Francis, in jail for photographing naked drunken underage girls escaped from the Lorena Bobbit correctional facility for abused and exploited women. A few hours later, he was found by the local police, claiming he ran away because he was a victim of “Cool and unusual punishment!”

Bristol-Myers’ star, “Speedy” Alka-Seltzer, is out of retirement to team up with Paris Hilton, bringing new meaning to the slogan, “Relief Is Just A Swallow Away!”


The Who…embark on their latest “Farewell” Tour!

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

For more of Paris https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/12/18/it-looks-like-paris-blows-it-again/

Thanks to Paul Payton for his contribution of the Who tour video.

Thanks to the late Harvey Miller, who helps me with this column every week!