man-with-cat.jpg
After a domestic dispute with Streaker, Whoppy runs away from home. A neighbor brings him back after finding him stuck in his doggie door!

Did you hear that after Madonna bought a little boy in Africa, she stopped off in Mexico to buy a nanny?

Congratulations to Triumph, the insult comic dog, who just became spokesman for Grey Poopon mustard!

Last night, rapper 50 Cents was arrested outside of a Manhattan dance club for allegedly beating his own ass!

Condoleeza Rice and Hilary Clinton are racing up the pop music charts with their first duet, “You Ain’t Woman Enough To Run This Land!” To hear it just click onto http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/13180/HillaryCondi_HoDown.swf

Mel Gibson, still repenting for his drunken anti-semetic remarks, is sending out invitations to his own bris! I guess nothing shows sincerity like a circumcision!

Jessica Simpson, reportedly was an hour late for her doctors appointment because she was studying for her blood test!

Construction worker Dick Hertz, tried to return a monkey’s paw he allegedly found in a bowl of chili at a fast food restaurant. He was promptly arrested for fraud when it was discovered that he used up all three wishes that come with the monkey’s paw.

Simon Cowell, has been named as the new host of “The Price is Right” to replace Bob Barker, who is starting to crumble into dust.

Kelly Clarkson is alive and well although she appears in the video, “Rock and Roll Heaven” which is a tribute to dead rock stars. just click onto https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2006/08/20/rock-and-roll-heaven/

Copyright 2006- by Artie Wayne

tri-best.jpg

The first one to hear the campaign song was Triumph, the insult comic dog…who looked me straight in the eye and said, “Get Out!” The last one to hear it was Kinky Friedman, currently running for Governor of Texas, who didn’t say a word but slowly backed out of the room and called for security!

Now I leave it up to you…is it that controversial or does it simply suck?

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED OR TURN AROUND AND BE COUNTED!

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED OR TURN AROUND AND BE MOUNTED!

In 2004 it was Kerry and Bush

Those campaign ads were a pain in the tush

Before this election gets out of hand

Don’t stand by and let the ship hit the sand

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED OR TURN AROUND AND BE MOUNTED!

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED OR TURN AROUND AND BE MOUNTED!

Who’s tellin’ the truth? Which candidates lyin’?

Don’t be fooled by all the poop that’s flyin’

If you still can’t tell… which is which

then vote for the lesser son of a bitch!

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED OR TURN AROUND AND BE MOUNTED!

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED OR TURN AROUND AND BE MOUNTED!

copyright 2006- Artie Wayne