I’m tired of Black people bitching, White people whining, and members of the NRA shooting their mouths off about what the Presidential election has turned into!

As Americans, none of us can afford to drop the ball, much less drop the torch. It’s time that we add up what we’ve learned about the candidates. Here are a few things you might not know, that can help you make up your mind when it’s time to vote.

Did you know that Republican Vice-Presidential hopeful, Sarah Palin was planning to take 30 members of the press on an Eskimo hunting party, until it was discovered that they wouldn’t be hunting with Eskimos, but for Eskimos!

Are you aware that Democratic Vice-Presidential hopeful Joe Biden is a silent partner in a travel agency that is selling out excursion tickets to the South Seas for the time period that he predicted Obama would be tested by the world? 

Did you know that John McCain Enterprises, who not only owns the controling interest in Viagra,  but also a chain of mortuaries, has copyrighted the slogan, “We’ve Got You Coming and Going.”?

After so many pro-McCain comments were made by Democrat Joe Biden, it’s not surprising that Barack Obama called up President George W. Bush, for an endorsement, promising him a spot on Mount Rushmore. The only problem is, he promised the same spot to Bill Clinton!

Did you hear that Independent Party Presidential hopeful, and “Bad Girl Gone Good”, Paris Hilton, goes down in history as the first person to withdraw early from a race to star in a TV movie, “The Mother Teresa Story”.

After a rousing version of “There’s No Bama Like O-bama, Like No Bama I Know!”, Secretary of State-to-be Hillary Clinton leads the Democratic party’s victory dance, just days before the election! Click on Hillary to activate! 

John McCain has promised “Joe The Plumber”, a cabinet position, if he becomes President. He will be in charge of flushing out Socialists, non-believers, and fixing leaks to the press. “Joe”, still smarting from the treatment he received from the media, says he’s also not adverse to , “kicking a little ass, if he has to!”

In an unprecedented move, Senators Barack Obama and John McCain, admitted that they made a secret agreement In the event that the Presidential race is too close to call, they’ll have a dance-off!           

Then In the true spirit of bi-partisanship, the candidates issued a joint statement “STAND UP AND BE COUNTED, OR TURN AROUND AND BE MOUNTED!” . So vote early…and vote often!                              

                             “IF IT’S ON THE INTERNET, IT’S GOTTA’ BE TRUE!”

Copyright 2008 by Artie Wayne https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/about-artie-wayne/

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After being mentioned a dozen times by Obama and McCain, in the final Presidential debate, Joe the Plumber has signed a million dollar endorsement deal with Procter and Gamble, for a yet to be disclosed product.

America’s hottest TV show, “Dancing With The Stars”, started off the night with a bang, then everybody came out and danced! The surprise of the night came when Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama, took Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin for a spin around the floor.

EXCLUSIVE! JUST IN! Here’s the hilarious video of John McCain roasting Barack Obama at the Al Smith Dinner in Washington.

http://www.viralvideochart.com/youtube/john_mccain_brings_down_the_house__al_smith_dinner_part_1?id=Goaj5V4tZoc

 

Now here’s an equally hilarious video of Barack Obama, roasting John McCain at the same dinner. http://www.viralvideochart.com/youtube/obama_roasts_mccain_at_al_smith_dinner?id=v5SWQJWm6Tg

If they didn’t have this Presidential thing to worry about, they could team up and become the new Abbott and Costello!

“Tweenie Princess”, Miley Cyrus wears a purity ring, which means she’ll remain a virgin until she gets married. To insure that promise, her father Billy Ray has beefed up security.

In a yard sale, that America held to pay for the $700,000,000 bailout, Oprah Winfrey, bought the letter “O” for a billion dollars! She’ll receive a royalty each time her letter is used in a word, which will also be donated to “the cause”.

Ten Time Grammy award winner, Kanye West, had an audience with the Pope, but left in a huff when the Pontiff refused to kiss his ring!

Last week, Russia’s Prime Minister Putin was given a two and a half month old tiger cub for his 57th birthday. When he arrived at JFK this morning, Katie Couric, asked how his little friend was. He smiled and said, “Delicious!”

In The meantime, George McCain, can’t seem to get ahead in the polls, although he’s starting to distance himself from President Bush.

“IF IT”S ON THE INTERNET, IT”S GOTTA’ BE TRUE”
Copyright 2008 by Artie Wayne

Special thanks to Sharon Link for the picture of her cousin Barack dancing.

EXPOSED! OBAMA-McCAIN SECRET AGREEMENT! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/exposed-obama-mccain-secret-pact/