If It’s On The Internet, It’s Gotta Be True! “Pirates 3” Tops B.O. Sinks Competition!

May 23, 2007

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Captain Jack Sparrow, left Shrek 3 and Spiderman 3, stranded on the “Island Of Forgotten Icons”, and sailed to number one at the box office with “Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 -At World’s End”!

Now that Paris Hilton’s sentence has been reduced to 23 days, she swallowed hard and said she’s ready to take her punishment. She plans to serve quietly and make good use of her time. She wants to complete her education, and take several courses that will make her eligible to go to high school.

Kenny Chesney, has his 76th number one record in a row! It’s a song about a man who leaves his girl because she’s suppressing his religious beliefs. It’s Called,” You Can’t Sit On My Faith Anymore”

President Bush insisted that James Brown, the “Godfather Of Soul”, attend the state dinner for the Queen of England, even though he passed away 5 months ago. Although he didn’t touch his food and was unusually quiet, Brown received a standing ovation from his fellow guests following dinner, while an aid put a cape around his shoulders and respectfully carried him away!

Alec Baldwin and David Hasselhoff, have signed to star in the new NBC comedy series, “Assholes Never Take A Day Off”. Is it any wonder that NBC is the 4th ranking network?

83 year old, Bob Barker retired host of “The Price Is Right” is speaking out on his romance with 20 year old starlet, Lindsay Lohan. “ I know that there’s a big age difference between us and having sex could result in death, but if she dies…she dies!”

Although Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough, won the precious mirror ball trophy on “Dancing With The Stars”, it was Homer and Marge Simpson who brought the crowd to it’s feet with their lively quickstep and acrobatic hijinks! Mr. Simpson is expected to be released from the hospital next week.

Donald Trump was set to fire NBC…but NBC fired him first!

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Ex-President Jimmy Carter, tried to “make nice” with President Bush, for all the nasty things he said about him last week, and sent him 10 boxes of Jimmy Carter hand grown tomatoes stamped with, “ If it doesn’t have a shit eating grin on it’s face…it’s not a Jimmy Carter!

Copyright 2007 by Artie Wayne

Special thanks to the late Harvey Miller, who helps me with this column every week!

For more on Johnny Depp and the night he showed me his tattoo! https://artiewayne.wordpress.com/2007/06/23/star-studded-nights-at-genghis-cohen/

Best of luck to Nigel Goodall on his new book, “The Secret Life Of Johnny Depp” available at all fine bookstores.

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22 Responses to “If It’s On The Internet, It’s Gotta Be True! “Pirates 3” Tops B.O. Sinks Competition!”

  1. Annelise Says:

    this is a great web site.

  2. sveta Says:

    Hi
    I am the bigest fan of johnny depp , i lkie his film
    and i hope that there will be pirates of caribbean 4

  3. marie Says:

    I LOVE YOU JOHNNY

  4. alice Says:

    i love johnny when he is jack

  5. Anna Luiza Says:

    I’m Brasilian !
    I love you Johnny depp!

  6. ilona rupp Says:

    jonny depp is the best man at the world i love him


  7. Johnny,

    You are the hoooooooootest looking pirate in pirates of the caribbean.

    I am a huge fan of all your movies .

    You are a really hot actor. I enjoy looking at your homepage.

    That picture of you on the poster is smashingly fablous of you.
    Sarah Saunders


  8. Johnny Depp is awesome and it’d be great if i’d meet him cause I’ve never met any superstar and he’s the superstar that I’d like to meet the most… probably like everyone else who is a huge fan of Johnny’s.

  9. paula martinez Says:

    I love you johnny depp you are in sexy

  10. iloveyou Says:

    i love johnny deep ,johny deep is biuty fool

  11. sandra Says:

    tu és o homem mais sexy do mundo, cá em portugal é dificil arranjar posters teus mas eu esforço-me muito e consigo todos os teus posters, continua com a tua carreira e esquece o teu passado porque o que intressa é o futuro…. muitos beijos desta tua fã number one. kisses


  12. Johnny,

    You are a handsome actor.

    You are the best actor in pirates of the caribbean movies.

    I am a big fan of your movies.

    Sarah saunders

  13. ana Says:

    yeah he is an a handsome actor. you are the best in pirates of caribbean movies to also i am a big fan also movies i dont seems to like it but its really an a okay.


  14. EU AMO O JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y LOVE JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE KISS!!!!!!!! UM BEIJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. viviane Says:

    Para min ele é simplemente espetacular!!!
    Não é como os outros, idolotrado e comentado por onde vai, mas, que dá inveja para qualquer “marmajo” hó se dá…
    É simplemesnte espetacular, a mulher dele tem muita sorte…

  16. livia Says:

    Este homem é de mais muito lindo um sucesso…

  17. livia Fernandes Says:

    y love you JOHNNY DEPP forever!!!!!


  18. Alright, so here I am cruising around a few websites looking for Johnny Depp photographs to use in my slide show and up-coming blog. And what do I find? This articulately crafted laughable news that kept me interested in all fabrics of my being… I mean seriously, I didn’t walk away from the computer or nothing… and that is saying something because I have four dogs and a four year old running around. I loved the crafty puns and the nautical nonsense that is called life. kudos to you my friend. You are an artist.


  19. Oh and P.S. I love Johnny Depp… not just from Pirates.

  20. tomatoface Says:

    Did you make that picture of the tomato with the teeth? I’m in a band called ‘Tomato Face’ and when I saw that picture, it fit perfectly for a possibility as album art. If I had your permission, I’d love to use that pic! This is our first CD, and we wanted the cover to be as unique as we sound. Unfortunately, we’ll be lucky to break even on the cost to produce our CD’s so I couldn’t promise any money, but can I promise you that we will give you full credit for your artwork (if it is even yours). If it isn’t your own work, is it possible that you could direct me to the original artist? Here’s our MySpace if you’re interested in hearing us at all…

    http://myspace.com/thetomatoface

    Thanks again!

  21. Derek McCrea Says:

    I still think nothing compares to the original story.

  22. So Kastl Says:

    I am having trouble seeing this website. It displays all funny with paragraph breaks incorrectly. You might want to check it out.


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